8 of the Best Compliments to Give to the Vagina

“I want to be the linguine to your clam.”

A vagina is like a fingerprint. The unique lines, the delicate curves, the particular patterns — most men would agree that each one is beautiful in its own special way.

But despite a man’s unwavering devotion to the almighty vagina goddess, many women are still self-conscious about the way they look, taste, or smell.

That’s why it’s important to give the vagina compliments whenever you can. And while it might be hard to find the right words to describe the beauty that glistens before your eyes, there are certain things you can say to make her melt into a pile of vaginal goop.

We already hate your ex-girlfriend, so complimenting us while shooting her down is guaranteed to make us smile. You don’t have to name a specific girlfriend (we hate all of them).

Cinderella Slipper Pink? Cotton Candy Seashell? Ethereal Rose Quartz? Not only can you subtly brag about your eye for design, but you’ll make us feel like we’re a handcrafted work of art.

Way to trigger our nostalgic childhood memories, dude. We’ve spent all these years comparing our precious vagina to the only one we’ve spent 1-on-1 quality time with. That ultra-smooth, hole-less plastic puss is something we’ve strived to imitate for a long time. Thank you.

This compliment is a great addition to the slurping sounds you’re making down there. Also, bonus points for mentioning the King of the Kalahari (we’ll automatically be thinking about your trunk.)

We’re horny, not stupid. If you make outlandish statements like how we’re “the best” or “the most beautiful,” you’ll only go down…

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