How I Overcame Shyness and Made My Own Success

I spent my early life in the safe space of a library. Always reading, always writing, rarely speaking. I had big, all-consuming, contraditory goals: I wanted to travel, lead teams and, ultimately…

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Come Away With Me

Looking back through the cracks in the kitchen backdoor, I saw Windy pouring fresh coffee in Bill’s cup. It’s no secret, his eyes always followed her across the room. She chatted cheerfully, the way she always did with all customers. She wore a navy blue dress with an apron around her waist and yellow shoes. She had her brown hair tied up in a ponytail, her smile warm, her eyes kind.

Tom pushed me to the side to peak through the cracks too, “hey!” I said in protest, he looked back at me and said in frustration, “He still didn’t say anything to Windy, did he ?”

“I don’t know what’s stopping him.”

Bill has been a regular customer to our diner for over a year now, since Windy came to town and knocked on our door with an apple pie and asked for a job as a waitress.

We never knew what she did before she showed up on our door step that night. She seemed like she was running away from something, we took her in, and never asked what.

Bill comes here every morning after his shift at the local bar. He plays the saxophone but doubles as a bartender when everyone is too drunk to listen to his sad playing.

The usual, orders a cup of coffee, a slice of pie Windy baked the same morning, reads the paper, keeps to himself, except the causal conversation sometimes with Windy, he just watches her in silence. Then walks out after leaving a generous tip we all know he can barley afford.

“Are you two ever going to stop doing this?” Windy barged in the through the other door, and looked at me and Tom “Two omelets, stack of pancakes and slice of apple pie for table 4 and a slice for Bill too.”

“He’s the silent type honey, just ask him out, he’s never going go say anything. Plus its the sixties! we’re equal now, you can ask a guy out if you want” I said.

Windy looked at me and rolled her eyes, “Theresa, I don’t ask guys out, not anymore, anyway. From experience, if a man wants to be with a woman, nothing can stop him, if it was the other way around, well there isn’t much she can do about it but wait.”

“Don’t give me that crap, I don’t believe you believe what you’re saying. Its a load of crap, that’s what it is. Tom?” I said, hoping for backup.

Tom just looked at us, and nodded. “Elaborate, Tom” Windy looked at him with raised eyebrows.

“Now, she’s my wife, Windy I have to agree with whatever she says.” He said between taking big bites of pie.

“Tom, stop eating! The pies are for the costumers, just be useful and flip some pancakes.”

I handed Windy Bill’s order and took the rest to table four.

I watched them as I placed the orders on table opposite them. Around Windy, he always seemed like there was something on tip of his tongue but he never managed to spill it out. Bill may be the silent type, but everything he wanted to say is written in his eyes and he’s not that hard to read. He always wore those worn out suits, with the tie, the fedora and everything. I’m betting last time he went shopping was probably in the fifties.

He was pretending to be reading the news, while Windy lied down the pie and poured him some more coffee. I heard her ask him,“Anything interesting in the paper this morning?”

Bill was a little awkward at first then managed to answer, “Well, besides the ads that keep telling housewives they could be glamour girls if they just wore rhinestone sunglasses and any given indecisive person can be leader if they wore the right lederhosen. In short, anything is possible. Anybody could be anything they wanted, they just need the right outfit. Besides that, there isn’t really much this morning.”

Windy laughed at that, he added, “In the sports section, the New York Rangers had beaten the Chicago Blackhawks 2 to 1, and Vic Hadfield scored both goals.”

“Hmm, not much of a sports fan, what else do you have there?”

“Well, this might interest you, Caryl Chessman is finally scheduled to go into the gas chamber, for robbing and raping young women.”

“He’s been on death row for sometime now, with an appeal after appeal, finally a verdict.” Windy replied.

“It’s not what the article is about.”

“Yeah?”

“We got Huxley, Bradbury, even Eleanor Roosevelt, all calling for his life to be spared.”

“So he is turned into a cause célèbre.”

“Pro or anti death penalty?” Bill asked.

“It depends, if you’re one of those guys who believed that all of society could be affected by death of one solitary life. I’m no judge, but I say he deserves it.”

“Doesn’t that turn us into murderers, just the way he was?”

“First of all, he is a rapist, technically, we’re more of vigilantes? Keeping things in check.”

One of the customers started talking to me so I shushed them but I lost parts of Bill and Wendy’s conversation.

“Somebody’s got to stand up for other people too.” I heard Windy say.

“I do believe gassing someone or putting a bullet in their head is more merciful than caging them up like a rat in a cell till they die of natural causes.”

“Gotta agree there. Well, customers will start complaining, not everyone cares about death penalties, they prefer the rhinestone sunglasses. Catch up with you later Bill.” Windy said as she smiled at him, she walked back to the direction of the kitchen,I followed her.

Bill just nodded in disappointment. “You’ve got some fine dynamic, right there, I’ll tell you that much” I said to Windy as we walked in the kitchen.

“I can’t believe you were eavesdropping.” Windy looked at me, serious look in her eyes.

“I happened to be working near by and I accidentally heard what you were saying, technically, it’s not eavesdropping, I just happened to be there.”

After few seconds of silence, Windy said “ There’s no point in steering things up if you’re not planning on staying. I’m leaving tonight Theresa, I can’t have him hung up on me.”

“Sweetheart, you’re hung up on him too.”

“Lost chances, gotta live with them.”

“I don’t believe that for a second.”

“I wonder if you believe in anything at all.”

“I believe in plenty, this crap of lost chances, I don’t, if you’re willing, you can find anything, lost or not.”

“Got tables to serve.”

Windy walked out with dishes full of food. When I got out with my dishes, Bill has already left. Windy was working her tables, as usual.

Later that day, after Windy finished her shift, she went back to her apartment to pack. She was leaving for the city tonight, we all knew she wasn’t going to stay here forever, I just hoped she won’t be leaving this soon.

She came by that night to say goodbye, the diner had two customers sitting in the farthest table. She hugged me really tight.

“I’m sorry I won’t be here when the baby comes.”

“Its okay, I hope you can visit us sometime when you’re all settled.”

I was trying not to cry, Windy has been like family, I may not know much about her, but she is family.

“Where is Tom?” Windy asked,

“He hates goodbyes, he cries like a baby, you don’t want to see that.”

We laughed.

Windy reached in her pocket and got out an envelope, she handed to me, “Can you deliver this for me?” She asked,

“Of course.” I said as I flipped it over and read the name of receiver.

“Well, I gotta go, I’ll miss my bus.”

“Write and call.”

“I will.” She called back as the diner door closed behind her.

It was around ten, I just closed down the diner door and was heading to my apartment upstairs, I heard knocks on the glass door. I turned the lights back on, Bill was standing outside, soaked in rain.

I opened up the door for him, first thing he said, “Where is Windy?”

“You just missed her.”

“Where does she live? I need to see her.”

“Oh, sweetheart, Windy left town.”

“What” Bill said, shaken by the cold or the news, I wasn’t sure.

“Here, she left you this” I reached in my apron pocket and gave him the envelope. Bill hurriedly thanked me and left again in the rain.

That night was the last time I ever saw either Bill or Windy.

There were some news in the paper few months later, from some far town, up north, about this saxophone player who threw his instrument out the fifth floor window, then dived headfirst right behind it. He died right then and there, there was no name of the victim so I can’t really say.

I like to think she had left him a bus ticket to the city in that envelope, an address, a phone number or something he can find her with. I know I always don’t simply accept what I can’t change, it is a great fault of mine. I’ll never know for sure what had happened to them but I do hope that they found each other again.

How I Overcame Shyness and Made My Own Success

Come Away With Me

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